Over 30 and Struggling to Find Your Match? – Maybe This Is Why


Dating can be challenging at any age, and possibly even more challenging, the older we get. Some singles can’t seem to figure out what’s taking them so long to find “the One.” However, it’s in those moments where we all ponder and can’t figure out what we’re doing wrong or why we can’t find the right person, that we need to remember to look outside of the box for the reason. Sounds simple? Well, it isn’t. Having said that, if we start to change the way we view things, that might be all it will take before finding our match. Sometimes that love that we’ve been waiting and hoping for isn’t really all that hard to find, if we stop destroying promising situations before we’ve given them a real chance.


Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “How have I been destroying promising situations?” And if you’re not thinking that, maybe you should be. Many times, singles over 30 feel the pressure to find someone quickly. And more so, the older that they get. As well, whether they’re putting that pressure onto themselves or whether it’s others like family etc. that are making them feel pressured to finding a partner sooner, it doesn’t make finding anyone any easier, and it might even stall and prolong the process.

First of all, when we go out on a date with someone new, it’s important to remember not to make early dating seem too intense, where the other person might feel as if they’re being interrogated from you digging, prying, and asking too many questions. But don’t get me wrong, because asking questions during early dating is imperative so that you can find out whether or not you’re the right match for one another. And it’s even more imperative to ask the right types of questions. But sometimes, too many questions can be a complete turn-off, because other people might start to feel as if they’re on an interview, that they’re being judged, or that you’re possibly looking for perfection. And because of that, they might not feel comfortable or at ease to let down their guard, so that they can truly be their authentic self and let you get to know them on a deeper level.

No one wants to feel as if they’re on a job interview when they’re on a date with you. Ask important questions early on, but remember to take a breather once in awhile and relax. The last thing that anyone would want to do is push someone away when they’re interested, destroying a promising situation or what could have been. But unfortunately, when we make someone feel as if they’re under a microscope by asking too many questions, that’s usually the end result. You see, the biggest problem with singles who are dating over the age of 30, is that many times they’re forgetting to let go and have fun. It’s important to remember to keep things light, be take-it-easy, and go with the flow at times. Everyone likes to be around others who are intelligent, bright, sophisticated, and know what they want, but they also like being around someone who’s somewhat easy going and knows how to have a good time.

Remember, this is dating, not a business meeting or an interview. It’s great to know what you want, and go ahead and be picky, but don’t be difficult. Let your hair down—or at least let your guard down and relax. Don’t be too intense. Relax, be comfortable, feel at ease, and show your authentic side. And last but not least, love yourself enough that you don’t destroy promising situations by over-analyzing people, situations, or going over-board when you’re on a date. Stop pressuring yourself and don’t waste your time feeling pressured by others. Get to know the other person by spending some time talking, laughing, joking, teasing, smiling, and of course, by flirting and having fun together.

Anne Cohen
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