Nothing’s worse than being in a relationship where one person treats the other badly. Even worse, when the one that’s getting treated badly is so used to the other person, that they have a hard time leaving. Whether they fear being alone, fear their partner’s reaction, are too used to their partner, or for whatever other reason, they don’t feel that they can leave. We all want to be happy in life, and when it comes to relationships, there’s no one out there that says, “I want to be in an unhappy relationship.” No one says that.
Regardless of how bad relationships might become, sometimes people stay. They stay in unhappy relationships when at times they even get so bad, to the point where they become toxic, sometimes involving abuse, cheating, control issues, or anything else. People stay in relationships for many reasons. Although, we should be staying in relationships because they’re healthy, and because they bring happiness into our lives, many times our reasons are nothing of the sort.
You’re supposed to be a whole person before entering into any relationship. But when you’re in a healthy relationship, it makes you feel even more complete and whole than you already did. Healthy relationships are something that take time to develop, and maintain. People that truly want to maintain their relationship are going to be willing to put effort into improving it. They put effort into things on a daily and regular basis for the long term. They don’t just act like they care by putting effort into things in the beginning, and during the honeymoon phase. Anyone that truly wants to have a successful relationship is going to be willing to work on it, and as we all know, good things take time, love, effort, and hard work.
When people stay in relationships that aren’t healthy, they’re bringing unhappiness to themselves, and to their partner. When you know a situation isn’t right for you or even worse, if you see any signs of abuse, violence, or any other type of toxic behavior, it’s important to end things sooner, rather than later. When you see the first signs of a relationship becoming toxic, it’s important to address those issues as soon as possible, because if you don’t, they might not only get worse, but you might feel stuck at some point, and find it hard to leave that toxic relationship. For many people, being in a bad relationship is easy for them to end. Unfortunately, many people don’t feel that they have the strength within them or the resilience even to be able to walk away. Especially, when they feel a certain amount of attraction, chemistry, or love for the person that’s toxic.
Walking away from a toxic relationship or any type of bad situation is something that we’re all capable of, despite whether or not we feel that we are. We should never be afraid to be true to ourselves, express our feelings, thoughts, and opinions to others. Especially, if those “others” we find ourselves being in a relationship with. You absolutely need to be able to feel free in communication. But, you should also know how to express yourself in a way where you’ll feel heard and understood, despite whether or not your views are shared by your partner. You should never feel afraid to talk or share your feelings. Eggshells aren’t something that should be walked on at any point in a relationship. At least, not a healthy one.
You should never let your feelings build up inside of you, or implode your true emotions, because you’ll only be hurting yourself in the process. At some point after imploding for so long, you’ll wind up exploding either at your partner, at others, or even at yourself. This can be truly and utterly damaging to your soul, your health, your inner peace, and any happiness that you might have left. There’s no good reason to stay in a toxic relationship or marriage. Despite whether or not you have children with the person, despite whether or not divorce is something that “your family” or you approve of, and despite whether or not you fear being alone, you need to do the right thing, and leave when things are toxic.
No one should put up with being abused. A healthy relationship provides happiness, love, honour, and respect. Nowhere in a healthy and happy relationship should there be signs or traces of hate, cruelty, greed, selfishness, resentment, violence, cheating, or abuse. No one is perfect, so you can expect to have a perfect relationship. Everyone gets into arguments at some point or another. But abuse, violence, cheating, and hurting your partner is never an acceptable action, should never be tolerated, and should be addressed immediately.
If people choose to stay in a toxic relationship, they need to deal with the consequences. It’s truly unfortunate for those that don’t feel that they have enough strength to get up, walk away, and end things as soon as they start to get bad. It’s truly sad that many times people don’t feel the strength that they actually hold within them. We all have the inner strength to protect ourselves, and love ourselves enough to walk away from a bad thing.
I don’t really know how else to put it, but what blatantly sucks is when you have to watch someone that you love going through something so horrid and turbulent such as experiencing a toxic relationship filled with violence, anger, cheating, and heartache, leaving the person you care for in pain, torment, and misery. Nothing is worse than watching someone you love go down the wrong path. It’s imperative to surround yourself with people that you know will hear you out, and that you can trust and communicate with freely.
Even your dear friends and family should be able to communicate their feelings with you, and be able to hear you out if you need to speak your mind about something. But, the one person that’s going to be able to change anything in your life is you. No one can change your life for you. No one can end a toxic relationship for you. You need to be the person that feels enough inner strength to stand up for yourself, your rights, and speak your mind freely and openly. You need to know your worth, and realize that the sooner you stand up for yourself, the sooner change, and good things can happen.
If you’re unable to protect yourself or feel in fear that the other person is going to hurt you in some way if you speak up or if you walk away, then you should confide in someone that you trust, and go to an authority figure. If an authority figure doesn’t help you when you’re in a situation as such where you feel fear of your life or in any way, you should immediately get help elsewhere. Even if one authority figure doesn’t help you, move onto the next one. Someone will help.
You need to love yourself enough to cherish your life, and know that you deserve all of the love and happiness that this beautiful world has to offer. No one can take away the love and light that you hold inside, unless you let them. Remember that, because if you ever see red flags, signs, or traces of someone acting abusive, controlling, angry, or violent towards you, you should end things instantly, and know that you deserve better. You deserve happiness, and you need to remind yourself of that. Be good to yourself, let go of your fear, and end all toxic relationships before they get the best of you. Life is too short to settle for unhappiness.
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2 thoughts on “Bad Relationships: Why Do People Stay?”
This is such a great post Anne! I love your writing. It’s like you know how I’m feeling all of the time, because when you post new articles, I seem to be going through so much of what I read. Thank you for this and for your beautiful work. Angel xoxo