The Best Medicine for Getting over an Ex


There’s a best medicine for everything in life. There are always different things that we can all do in order to accomplish what we want in life, including getting over a breakup. Breakups are hard. Especially, when you were so in love or even for those that were simply used to each other. What can I say, bad habits are hard to break. But when a couple knows that can’t continue, and when they know that there’s no chance of them desiring to push forward and stay together, they not only breakup, but they want to do so and get over their ex as soon as possible.

Here’s the best medicine:

Come to terms with the breakup, and don’t be afraid to shed a few tears.

First off, never sweep your feelings under the rug, build an emotional wall, or avoid feeling anything. Don’t be afraid to shed some tears. Crying is not only normal, but it’s healthy and healing. At least, up to a certain point. I think that you or even someone who you know that ends up consoling your tears and broken heart will end up giving you an easy sign for when perhaps it’s best to STOP CRYING! We can all get carried away at times, especially when we fail to distract ourselves in a healthy manner. Distraction is everything during a breakup. But don’t get me wrong! Distraction is not the same thing as acting as if you don’t have feelings. You need to let yourself heal. Part of healing is crying. There’s something very spiritually cleaning and renewing about shedding a few tears.

In addition, I want to address the fact that whether you’re a man or a woman, we all cry. Obviously, we all cry at times. But, many times, some men will feel as though crying or shedding a few tears, or O.K., even SOBBING is something that’s only appropriate or acceptable when a woman does. Um, think again folks! WE ALL SHED TEARS, we all cry, and we all sob. Heartbreak sucks, and many of us have been there. So simply stop labeling it as a less manly or unacceptable behaviour when a man cries. And adding to that, for whatever my two cents means, I truly believe deep down in my gut, that the more a man cries, not only the more in touch with his feelings he is, but it also shows the depth of his soul, which to me speaks loud and clear of his manliness. My point—a real man isn’t ashamed to cry.

Part of coming to terms with your breakup, is understanding why you broke up. As well, you should take enough time to heal so that you’re able to learn and grow from your mistakes, and even from your partner’s mistakes. Make sure that you heal enough so that you don’t bring in wounds and baggage to your next possible relationship. When we are able to learn what went wrong from our past, we’re able to improve our lives and our future relationships. Part of coming to terms with a breakup, is simply dealing with the emotions that are left, as well as learning from the whole experience.

Ignore the opinions of others.

Everyone will have an opinion about your breakup. The truth usually comes out after a breakup, but not only from both people in a relationship, but also, from your friends and family. Yikes! Beware of letting the world know how you’re hurting or even that you’ve broken up, UNTIL you’ve had the chance to deal with the breakup yourself, at least a little bit. It’s one thing to talk with a friend or family member right away, but it’s another thing when people start spreading around the fact that they’re broken up to every Tom, Dick, and Harry. And trust me when I say this—NO ONE CARES! Especially, if you’re considering posting the break up news on social media. That’s not only frowned upon social media behaviour, but it’s annoying, and will bring unwanted negative attention, and judgment. At least, don’t expect for people to care A LOT. You shouldn’t expect others to be there for you and comfort you.

Now, if you have a special someone in your life in which whom you can not only trust, confide in, but one who will be a great listening ear, by all means, talk with them if it will make you feel better. But make sure that you don’t overdue it. In all honesty, we can all only handle hearing another person’s issues for so long. Even when people are selfless, giving, loving, and have an amazing tolerance of being a great listener. Don’t take advantage of  a listening ear, and definitely be cautious not to get annoying to those who are open to listening by grieving too long. You may think that telling other people about your breakup will relieve some stress or even make others know that you’re single. But I can tell you in one breath and without using any commas that it isn’t worth it to tell anyone!

Deal with your breakup on your own first. Come to terms with what happened. Understand why it happened, and BREATHE for G-d Sake! There’s no rush to put yourself on the market, because 99.99% you aint gonna be ready! Give yourself some time to heal! As well, when other people know too much about your relationship or even your private life, they’re going to have an opinion on it, and the more opinions that you get, the more that you’ll regret venting to others. And if you really want to vent, find a “GOOD” therapist or someone who you can truth that will give you GOOD ADVICE. Therapists , friends, or even family can give HORRIBLE advice at times, so be careful who you confide in. Be cautious when choosing who to open up to. You might end up opening up to the type of person who might even have many degrees, but no common sense, logic, or “soul.”

Do something positive that will bring about happiness.

We all deserve to feel good and be happy. We should love ourselves enough not to spend our days feeling down, sorry for ourselves, or worse than anything, wallowing in our own misery. That will only create negativity and a pessimistic outlook on life. be good to yourself, and know that it’s more than O.K. to be selfish once in awhile. Do something positive that will lift your spirits. Turn your negative energy into positive light and inspiration.

The more that you let yourself grieve endlessly, the more that you’re going to kill your own motivation and inspiration. Let go of the past, free yourself, and eventually tell yourself that you deserve to smile and be happy. You should WANT to feel happy, and you should DESIRE to spoil yourself or indulge in something positive once in awhile. And obviously staying active and going to the gym or on a hike can help to increase your endorphins and kill depression. As well as simply letting the morning sunshine, which will kill depression as well. But do something out of the ordinary for yourself, because life is too short to have a sad face for too long. It’s one thing to grieve for a certain amount of time, but it’s another thing to let grieving destroy you and kill your spirit and inspiration.

On the contrary, what you shouldn’t do, and what would be the worst medicine after a breakup, is to drink or abuse substances in order to relieve pain. Doing something positive means doing something to detox, to give you a breath of fresh air, and to remind yourself that you should be happy. Doing something that makes you happy doesn’t involve hiding your feelings. But rather, it involves becoming enlightened, and embracing the beauty in life through doing simple pleasures.

You still need time to heal, despite the fact that you should still try to smile through the pain. But don’t let yourself fall down a nasty spiral of using bandaids by running to the bottle, hooking up with someone else too quickly, jumping into another relationship, or doing any other negative and impulsive behaviour. Remember, our actions will always come with consequences, and you need to think, to grieve, and to let yourself go through the natural process of healing. But in that process, do something nice for yourself, something positive that will bring about a smile.

Anne Cohen
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