Gossip: The Ugly Truth


People talk bad about others on a daily basis. They do so without realizing that in lieu of their momentary thrill in making what they think to be good conversation, it’s actually hurting other people, whether they know it or not. I don’t think it needs to be said, but it’s never good to hurt other people physically, psychologically, sexually, emotionally, or verbally. Words can be more powerful than you think. Sometimes, we think that it’s safe when a person isn’t sensitive, and that they can handle what we’re saying when we’re joking, or talking in jest about something. Unfortunately, there’s never a way to know whether what you’re saying could hurt someone’s feelings, and if you question whether it would or not, it’s better to keep quiet. I wrote this article for those that don’t know that gossiping is not sexy.

When you’re dating someone or in a relationship, and your partner feels the need to give negative commentary on others all of the time, it can be quite draining and very unappealing. You may find it hard to believe that someone that you like or love so much can have a side to their personality that you find so unattractive. Well, to those partners that are busy chattering away, talking bad about other people a lot, I have bad news for you. Every time that you talk bad about others, your partner gets turned off! If your partner finds it cool or cute that you talk bad about others and they think of you as charismatic and witty for doing so, whether it’s about the way that people dress or act, then your partner is a little twisted themselves, and I might have to write an article about your partner.

Talking bad about other people is such an ugly trait and it would be so great to see people in this world improve in this area of weakness. This is something that everyone can control, if and when they want to. Whether you’re talking behind someone’s back, commenting on someone’s pictures on social media, or spreading rumors about people, there’s always a chance that it will get back to the person that you’re talking about, and hurt them. What if that happened to you! What if you’re having a hard day and nothing seems to be going your way, and then someone lets you know that they heard this and that about you, and it was quite unappealing. I’m sure you wouldn’t feel good about it and your day would be even worse than it already was.

I’ve been in social situations, where many people in a group would talk so poorly about someone outside of the group or about someone that was in the group, but not there that day. How awful of an experience was that! Did I mention that when I didn’t join into the conversation, I was put down and criticized for it. Having said that, if people in your surroundings, whether friends, family, or anyone in social situations gets a huge thrill in talking bad about others, it’s time to get out of that social crowd and move on to finding more enlightened and positive people to spend your time with.

I’ve heard that the people that you choose as friends likely have a lot of the same characteristics as you, and I tend to agree. Remember to choose your friends wisely and if you have family members that get a thrill in talking poorly about others, there’s nothing wrong with distancing from those family members as well. We should all try to bring out the positives and talk about all of the good things that we see and know about others. If you see something that you don’t like or hear something bad about someone else, let it go, and move along with your day. There’s no need to spiritually fall by acknowledging the things that you don’t like about others or participate in continuing a rumour about someone, that’s none of your business, whether it be true or false. If you think about it, who really cares! There are so many good things that people can talk about. Find something else to chitter-chatter about.

When it comes to dating, you should find a partner who talks kindly about others and doesn’t get a thrill in speaking poorly behind others’ backs. I’ve known many couples that shared in the joy of talking bad about others as a couple. That’s not a couple that I’d want to be friends with. When both people in a couple mutually get pleasure in talking bad about others, it can be a very ugly situation. Both people in a relationship should want to share in the joy and happiness of others, and if they’re going to talk about other people, they should talk about all of the positives, and not find humour and joy in speaking unkindly of other people. Unless both people in that type of relationship are willing to improve themselves individually, they’re not going to be better as a couple in this way.

Social media takes talking bad about other people to a very deep, dark, and negative place. I know that most people that are reading this, are quite aware of what I’m talking about. I’ve written about this type of thing before, and I can honestly say, it’s worth repeating again. There’s no point in leaving bad comments for other people on pictures, articles, or anything that one might find shared on social media. If you don’t like something, then you shouldn’t comment on it. If you think that someone looks unattractive in a picture, a little sad, or perhaps they have an angry face in the picture, there’s no need to comment anything negative.

I can’t tell you how many times people have written negative things to me, because I wasn’t wearing any makeup. Perhaps without makeup, I tend to look a little blue. The point is, there’s no need to comment on anything that you don’t like. When it comes to commenting on people’s articles, artwork, etc., if you disagree with something that you’ve read, seen, or on something that was portrayed in art, etc., then you could do one of two things. You could either not comment or you could give your opinion and disagree but with poise and grace.

Many people disagree with what people write online, and write the most awful things that you can imagine. I find it ludicrous that people can be so insensitive and heartless in the way that they comment. Just because people have different views on things and in life, doesn’t dignify receiving negative treatment or insults pertaining to the way that the writing was done. As well, nothing justifies bullying and being put down. Especially, when someone has taken the time out of their life to write something that they hope others will find meaningful.

Don’t get me wrong, when people write things that are brutally negative and could be harmful to others, this doesn’t really pertain to them. But, for all others that are truly trying their best to make a difference in this world, you should try to uplift them and give them support. When you know that someone is trying to do something to better others or themselves and you don’t support them, you might have other hidden issues that you need to work on.

If you really need to know what the ugly truth is, it’s that no one really enjoys being cruel or mean to others. When parents take the time out to teach their kids to have good morals, values, and the importance of being kind to others, their children will have the power of understanding the damage that being cruel can cause. Parents have the power to kill that evil inclination that we’re all born with, by integrating love and goodness to their children through teaching them with good lessons and healthy guidance.

Gossiping and doing cruel things to people is something that we’ve all learned at a very young age and when not addressed appropriately, we do it to others. It’s important that people teach their kids these types of lessons when they’re very young, so that they don’t grow up becoming insensitive, hateful, envious, bullies. Parents should take the time to teach their kids these valuable lessons, so that one day, they will raise their own kids in the same enlightened manner.

Anne Cohen
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