What Happened to the Honeymoon Phase



When love is real, the feeling doesn’t fade. Many times couples argue, fight, and disagree on different things. In relationships, couples will have ups and downs and twists and turns, but what’s important is that they both find resolutions to their issues, and that they’re both willing to work hard on improving their relationship, especially, when things get tough. When couples start off in a relationship, and things get rocky right away, where they tend to argue all of the time, they might not be the right match for one another.

Things are supposed to pretty much flow when you’re with the right person. There shouldn’t have to be a big struggle with one another as far as communicating and merely getting along. If you see that you’re fighting and arguing all of the time with someone that you just started dating or even when it comes to something who you’re exploring a new relationship with, then you should figure out why you’re arguing so much, and see if there are ways that you can resolve those issues. Otherwise, you should probably both go your separate ways. 

Now back to the love, and those loving feelings that should be feeling early on in the dating period. Yes, don’t doubt it for one second. You should be feeling blissful early on. Every new relationship should have a honeymoon period where the couple’s love and excitement for one another feels ecstatic, new, and just like many couples would feel after they get married and go on their honeymoons. In a healthy relationship, couples should always experience the honeymoon phase, and if they don’t even have a glimpse of it in the beginning, then they’re probably the wrong match for one another. 

As far as couples that had experienced the honeymoon phase, and that had those loving feelings for their partner, but after having certain arguments or turbulence in their new relationship, they feel as if their love is fading, you need to realize that it’s not your love that’s fading for the other person, but it’s more so, that you might simply feel hurt or upset by certain things that they’d done or said. And because of those hurt feelings, perhaps the love hasn’t faded, but it’s been covered by a layer of caution or an emotional barrier that you might’ve put up to protect yourself from being hurt again.

Sometimes we end up building emotional walls to protect ourselves, and even on an unconscious level. We don’t realize that we’re putting up this wall, but we do so in order to protect ourselves from being hurt or from feeling sad or upset again. For all of you out there that are experiencing a new love, and you’re in a new relationship with someone that might’ve hurt or upset you to the point where it’s affected your feelings towards them, it’s important to recognize this emotional wall and whether you’ve built one, and not end your relationship abruptly because of it. But instead, try to work out your issues with your partner. Explain to them why you feel hurt or upset, and try to resolve your issues or concerns so that you can once again let down that guard and embrace the love, like you did in the very beginning. 

If the love was there at the get-go, and you’d experienced the honeymoon phase, and you still feel a certain amount of happiness with them, longing for them when they’re not by your side, then there’s a pretty big chance that your love has not faded, and it’s likely still right there in your heart. Try to sort out your issues with your partner by having great and open communication. And try to let go of any hurt and residual anger or resentment, so that you can once again feel and embrace the love that you once had with the person. This especially goes for when you know that the other person is someone that you can imagine spending the rest of your life with. At least, if this was how you felt in the very beginning.

If someone that you’re dating or in a relationship hurt or upset you in some way, and you choose to stay with the person, then you have to let go of the past, and look forward to the future. And that’s why having acceptance is so important as well. On a final note, remember that when love is real, it doesn’t fade, and it doesn’t go away. It lasts from year to year, and not merely from moment to moment. True love goes on throughout eternity, and to the point where you can’t imagine not being with the other person or having them in your life.

Anne Cohen
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