Is the Kiss Important? 10 Reasons She Didn’t Kiss You on a First Date




Kissing is kind of a big deal for many people. During the early dating period, that first kiss is bound to happen, and especially when the chemistry is there and the sparks are flying. Having said that, many times people don’t really know when to kiss, how to kiss, if it’s too soon to kiss, if someone will let you kiss them, and for Heaven sake, if they’ll kiss you back! Therefore, I decided to write this article with hopes to share my thoughts on all of those questions and why exactly a girl might not have wanted to kiss you (yet).

Why do I fall in love with awkward people who turn out to be bad kissers? I’ve always said that when a kiss is bad, it’s never a good sign. However, if you develop feelings for someone that are passionate and intense, that bad kisser might turn out to be the best kiss of your whole life. This brings about the question, “How important is the kiss?” I’m curious to know some other opinions on whether or not being a bad kisser is a deal breaker.

I think it depends on how much you like a person. If you’re really into someone and the kiss turns out to be kind of blah, then it’s okay—there’s room for improvement. But, if you find someone to be really attractive looking, but you don’t seem to connect on many levels, and they turn out to be a bad kisser, then I’m completely out! I’ve definitely experienced a kiss like that and can honestly say that my attraction to the person entirely diminished. What can I say—we had no chemistry! 

Are We Obligated to Kiss Someone on the First Date?

For this question, I’m going to have to give a female perspective. Sometimes women go on first dates or second dates even, and they have a great time with a guy, but they didn’t kiss him. There could be many reasons why a girl doesn’t kiss a guy during early dating. A lot of times, people just simply move at different paces and want to take things slow. I decided to write a small list of reasons why a girl might not kiss a guy at the end of a date.


There’s no denying that girls are hard to figure out. Your best bet would be, when you like a girl and you want to kiss her, lean in and go for the kiss. If she pushes you away, try not to get offended, because at least you tried. I understand that it’s not easy to be a guy and to get turned down. But, it’s a risk you have to take I suppose, in order to kiss a girl that you like. There’s an old saying that says that men have it easy, but I beg to differ. I believe both sexes have it easier in some areas and harder in others. Hats off to the men that are brave and confident enough to go in for that first kiss and risk getting turned down by the beautiful ladies. 

I’m not sure if it’s the size of a person’s lips, the texture, the temperature, or maybe it’s just the amount of passion in both people. But, a kiss can be so magical when both people are feeling the same way about each other. It’s kind of like two people being compatible or not. Either a man and a woman’s puzzle pieces fit together or almost fit together. Well, I believe the same thing goes for kissing. It’s like a puzzle piece and either it works and feels perfect or something feels kind of off. 

If a Girl Doesn’t Kiss a Guy During a First Date, Does It Mean That She’s Not Interested? What If a Guy Doesn’t Kiss a Girl, Is He Not Interested?

The only way to really find out without asking is for the guy to ask the girl on a second date. Go through the short list above and try to cross off whichever ones of them you can, and ask her out again (if you like her enough). If she doesn’t kiss you on the second date, then you might have a problem. At least, you might have to wait until the third date. I understand that these days many men won’t bother to stick around and wait for three dates to kiss a girl.

However, if a man is not looking at a woman as if she’s just another flavour of the week, and he’s truly interested in her, he’ll get to the bottom of why she’s not kissing him, or at least, he’ll go in a little stronger for that first kiss on that third date. Besides, if the kiss turns out to be amazing on that third date, it would be well worth the wait. At that point, you’ll probably get to know her a little bit more, and the kiss will be based on the fact that you’re now developing feelings for her, that might even be stronger than they would’ve been on that first night. 

The worst thing is when a man assumes that he’s going to get kissed, and he tries to rush it and get it over with, just to know that he’s kissed you. Believe it or not, a lot of guys try to do that, and it’s the biggest turn off to girls. I can’t think of a bigger way that girls are going to feel like you view them as merely a flavour of the week than when you rush the goodnight kiss. When things flow and go naturally, the girl’s going to want to kiss you just as much as you want to kiss her, if you both really like each other. 

Here Are Ten Reasons Why She Didn’t Kiss You:

1. She’s not that into you. 

2. You didn’t try to kiss her. 

3. She’s too shy to make the first move. 

4. She likes to take things slow for a few dates. 

5. She’s using you. 

6. She’s playing hard to get. She’s into game playing and makes it a point not to kiss on the first date. 

7.  She wasn’t sure you wanted to kiss her. You didn’t try hard enough. You didn’t lean in. 

8. She was worried about her breath. 

9. She was worried about your breath. 

10. It’s possible that she wasn’t sure that you liked her and didn’t feel comfortable. She might’ve felt like she’d just be just another girl you’ve kissed. But, to her, it meant something more. She might’ve needed to know in words that you liked her. Sometimes men don’t express themselves in words, but more so in actions, and there should be a good balance. A lot of women respond to a good combination of both, words and actions. 


The First Kiss




The most important thing to remember when going in for that first kiss and many other possible kisses after is that a kiss should linger. It shouldn’t be rushed, but be slow at first, gently picking up the pace the more that you kiss. The first kiss doesn’t need to be all crazy passionate and aggressive. You can work your way into that. At first, the way a kiss lingers on yours and her lips as you separate your lips from each other can be the most magical part of the kiss. A lingering kiss stays with you after you drop her off. Remember, no girl wants to be slopped all over, so take it easy guys with the intensity of the saliva, and open mouth kissing. There’s no need for the tongue to come out to play right away. Okay, I’m definitely blushing now, but laughing as well. 

There’s nothing wrong with girls that go slow in the beginning, because at any moment the pace can be picked up, and then take off like a jet plane. It’s important for men to be patient during early dating with women. Unfortunately, many men are not patient these days. Many women are making hooking up so easy for men, that a lot of men feel that women are a dime a dozen and easily replaceable. It’s a truly unfortunate fact, but this is how things are these days, at least a lot of the time. It’s understandable that men may feel that women are playing with them by not kissing them early on or at least on the first date. But, not all women that go slow on the first couple of dates are playing with you. 

You should give things a chance during early dating and definitely on the first three dates. During those first three dates, try not to be assuming as to why she’s not kissing you or moving at your pace. Instead, try to be patient and get to know her. It’s possible that when a girl feels like a guy really likes her and is sticking around, not looking for the next best thing, she might be more open to kissing you. Why wouldn’t she want to kiss you! She’d be crazy not to! I hope you all get that first kiss on your first date that you’re so much hoping for, or at least by the second date if things go well. And when you ponder whether that first kiss is important, the answer is really quite simple—absofreakinglutely!

Anne Cohen
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