What to Do When Your Partner Becomes Emotionally Distant


Whether we’re dating someone or in a relationship, we always want to know that the other person loves and adores us without question. But once in awhile, for this or that reason, one person becomes emotionally distant towards the other, and we don’t always know why. So I decided to write down some things that you can do if or when your partner becomes emotionally distant, so that you don’t get down, deflated, and depressed from the lack of closeness.

Something important to keep in mind, is that when your partner becomes distant, it’s not always your fault. Not that it ever is, but it’s important to know that just because your partner is going through something, doesn’t mean that you’re the one to blame or that you should feel guilty for how they’re feeling. And just know that when we’re dating someone or when we’re in a relationship, we’re supposed to be a whole person, and ready to date beforehand, and we’re not supposed to bring baggage into new situations. In other words, we’re not supposed to be anyone’s savior or try to fix people into making them whole, because that’s something that we all need to do on our own and before dating anyone and exploring a relationship.

Communicate your feelings to your partner, and not to state the obvious, but ask them what’s wrong. If your partner asks you for space, give it to them. Don’t demand to know why they’re feeling down or upset, or even why they’re acting distant. But what you should do, is let your partner know how you’re feeling, that you feel that they’ve been distant towards you, and that you’re there for them if and when they’re open to talking.

Many people go in their cave once in awhile, want their alone time, and might seem emotionally distant to you. But it’s important not to take offense to it, and to find other things to do to distract yourself until they’re ready to come out of that cave and open up to you about what’s going on. Remember, communication is everything in a healthy and happy relationship, so eventually, you’ll have to communicate with one another. But again, there’s no rush in doing so, so don’t pressure the other person to opening up and talking with you if they’re not ready to do so. Having said that, you should definitely make sure to leave your door open towards communicating, and tell your partner that you’re there for them if and when they’re ready to talk.

You should be each other’s rock, a shoulder for one another to lean on, and you should even be each other’s best friends. Many times, couples become emotionally distant because they feel they have no one to confide in or turn to, and that’s usually because they aren’t best friends with their partner as they should be. This is definitely something to keep in mind when starting a new relationship, so that you can work on the friendship aspect, as well as on the romance, and all else.


Keep yourself busy.

Distract yourself, stay active, find things to do, and keep yourself busy, so that you don’t put pressure on your partner. Many times, people become emotionally distant when they feel pressured, even though that’s not necessarily the case each time. Make sure that you follow what I said above. Then you should try to do things to stay busy. Otherwise, you might end up adding to your partner’s stress by making them concerned about you on top of whatever they’re feeling or going through. As well, you might even make things worse by over-thinking things and analyzing every little thing. Focus on maintaining good spirits, and do things to make yourself happy. You can’t make another person happy, only yourself. But you can be pleasant, kind, warm, and loving to your partner, as well as make yourself open and available for them to communicate with you.

Another reason that sometimes people become emotionally distant, is because they’re walking on eggshells, and they’re afraid to communicate their feelings, because perhaps they feel judged by you, or because they’re afraid of how you might react. Therefore, make sure that when you speak, you do so with kindness and love, and that you’re not judgmental, and open to listening and understanding. Make sure that you don’t snap at your partner and that you’re not acting too harsh, but that you remain poised and kind when your partner shares things with you and opens up. That way they’ll feel closer more often, and it’s a great way of showing positive reinforcement so that they’ll return to you, and come to you when they need someone to talk to or share things with.

Remember, anyone can become withdrawn once in awhile. It’s always good to let your partner know that you’re there for them. But also, not to smother them with more attention than they want, so that they can work through their issues, and not sweep them under the rug. Everyone needs time to breathe, recoup, meditate, pray, and to work on themselves. We can’t make someone feel better all of the time, even if we’re the happy or funny type who loves to cheer people up. But we can be loving, pleasant, kind, understanding, nurturing, and make our partners feel that they’re not alone, and that they have a friend in us.

Anne Cohen
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