When Your Partner Only Shares Things with You on a Need-To-Know Basis


I can’t speak for everyone, but when it comes to knowing a person’s intentions when dating me, I’d rather know. I’m the type that prefers to know the truth if someone cheats, if they lie, and even when they have certain things going on in their lives that might be affecting them. Sometimes, people would rather be kept in the dark. Perhaps some things are easier to deal with when you don’t know about them. And maybe some people try to protect the one that they love by only telling them as much information that they feel is necessary. And in their minds, they do this to prevent their partner from feeling any pain or discomfort. But that doesn’t necessarily make it the right thing to do, and as for me and how I feel about being kept in the dark, definitely not a fan, and I always prefer to know regardless of the pain or discomfort that I might feel after hearing the truth and reality.

I’m a big fan of being open book and putting everything on the table when it comes to sharing with my partner. I can’t get close to someone who isn’t sharing enough or when I feel like they’re being closed book and only letting me in emotionally and into their life to a certain degree by only disclosing certain information, and only letting me know what I “need to know.” In other words, I’m not a big fan of being in a closed book relationship with someone who’s incredibly secretive, where I’m left in the dark, not knowing the whole story, and as if the only things that get shared with me are insignificant. You know… when someone only tells you things on a “need-to-know basis.” Um, thanks, but no thanks! I want to know everything, at least nearly everything, because that’s what makes me feel closest to my partner.

I’m sure that many people would agree when I say that I don’t like to be kept in the dark, and I’d rather my partner be brutally honest with me and let me know what’s really going on. I like to know the whole picture, so that I can feel closer to that person, and so that I can make the best decisions in my life, and especially when it comes to knowing what someone’s intentions are. It’s hard to make the best decision for yourself or to decide whether or not you should even stay with a person that you’re dating or in a relationship with when you only know things on a “need to know basis.” When someone isn’t telling you everything so that you can make the best decision for yourself as to whether or not to stay or leave, it can be very confusing, and coequal nerve wrecking. People should be honest about their intentions, and upfront about what they want, what they need, and what they expect in a relationship.

Relationships shouldn’t have to be a guessing game, and people shouldn’t play mind games as well, making you wonder what’s going on. You see, you might get to the point where you’ll end up overthinking things or creating issues that might not actually be based on true facts. This is why it’s best to know the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. These are the types of things that should be discussed early on and before getting into a relationship, so that you can find out if you even want to explore a relationship with a person. Being honest and open book are two things that I truly value in a partner, but more than value, they’re two things that I expect, and in return, I treat my partner with the same respect by being honest and open book as well. But more than anything, I believe in being pure with your intentions and being honest about what you want and expect out of a person and in a relationship so that you don’t mislead the other person or waste their time.

Anne Cohen
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2 thoughts on “When Your Partner Only Shares Things with You on a Need-To-Know Basis

  1. You say you want to know, but have you been in a relationship where one person cheats? What about after 10 years of marriage? You aren’t in a financial position to get a divorce. You aren’t in an emotionally healthy point in your life to handle major drama like this. I wouldn’t want to know.

    Happiness in your naivete is still happiness.

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