Picking and Choosing Your Battles



The last thing that anyone usually wants in a relationship is to be at each other’s throat’s all of the time and argue nonstop. Arguments happen, but in a healthy relationship, there’s good communication, and a way of hashing things out to where you both feel heard, and where there’s some type of resolution.

I don’t believe in sweeping things under the rug, avoiding confrontation, drama, or imploding one’s feelings. If you want to be in a healthy relationship and maintain the amount of happiness that you have as a couple, then you need to be willing to communicate with one another in a healthy manner. Sometimes we’re right, sometimes we’re wrong, but it’s never about winning or losing.

It’s important to pick and choose your battles when bringing up things that bother you to your partner. At times, you’re likely going to feel that nothing seems like smooth sailing, and everything feels like a struggle. But those types of feelings are usually more present when couples are fighting about everything and constantly disagreeing on things.

Remember folks, it’s all about feeling happy in life, so concentrate on all of the things that your relationship has and that your partner does, as opposed to what they don’t do for you and whatever your relationship lacks. It’s important to remember that. This is something that can truly enhance your love life and create a happier living environment for the both of you.

You need to decide how much something bothers you when it does, and then bring it up if it’s at that maximum point. However, everything can’t bother you, so if you’re feeling annoyed and bothered by everything that your partner does, then you’re just overly complaining, bored, and you likely need to find ways to spice up your relationship.

If you’re feeling at that end point where you want to explode, it’s likely because you’ve waited so long to express your feelings and to communicate with your partner like you should’ve from the get-go. You should be nipping things in the bud and bringing things up when they first bother you so that your feelings don’t get built-up into an explosion type of disagreement.

Whether you’re imploding or exploding all of the time, it’s important to pick and choose your battles because not everything should be such a big deal. We need to strive to be like Fonzie played by Henry Winkler from Happy Days, and get into his Zen mode where “Hey, it’s cool, everything’s cool.” I’m sure if we acted more like “The Fonz,” we’d be much more take it easy, and feel much happier in life, and in our relationship.

Anne Cohen
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