Pretending Everything’s All Right, When It Isn’t



Pretending, lying to ourselves, and making believe that everything is okay, when it isn’t. The dilemma that many times we all succumb to in relationships. Wishing that everything would be perfect, and that all of the problems will just dissipate with time. Sometimes preferring to sweep things under the rug, move on, and let things slide, or even better, to let them go. 

Relationship problems happen. Issues are bound to happen for all couples. Even the ones that you might think are problem-less. There’s no perfect situation that anyone can ever wish to be in, unless it’s just that, a wish. The most that we can do is not make things such a big deal at times, when they don’t need to be. Many times couples make issues out of things that really aren’t issues at all. If we all think of happiness as our main goal in life, in our relationships, then sometimes we would bite our tongues, think of what we say before we say it, and remember why we’re in a situation or with a certain person to begin with. 

It’s important to appreciate what you have, as well as the person that you’re with. The second that you stop appreciating all of the good things that your partner has, as well as what you have as a couple, you’ll start to develop somewhat of a miserable feeling inside. You’ll end up carrying the weight around like a sack full of negativity, disappointment, and regret. You’ll start feeling misery all throughout your bones, and it’ll take you away from your other priorities, like striving towards your goals, and simply being kind to others. Soon enough, that negativity will carry on throughout your lives, and will likely affect the way you think, and the choices that you make on a daily basis.

They say that “misery loves company,” but I’d have to say that misery attracts and brings more misery. It’s imperative to kill the negative thoughts that you have. We must think of all of the positive things that we have in our lives, and all of the wondrous things that our partners have as well. Appreciate what you have when you have it, because you’ve likely worked hard to get what you have already. We’re all fortunate in our own different ways.

Concentrate on the light, instead of the darkness. Keep in mind all of the beautiful and good times that you’ve shared in the past with your partner, instead of concentrating on all of the problems that you’ve endured. We all have problems, but what’s most important is to work on those problems and overcome them with knowledge, great communication, and love. Commitments are supposed to be strong, but they take two people that want to make things work. Partnership, appreciation, and being good teammates or best friends even is what it’s gonna take to have a beautiful commitment that lasts. 

Lying to yourself, to your partner, and in general isn’t a good thing. Specifically lying to yourself can cause a great deal of damage. When there are issues in relationships, you should never sweep them under the rug or avoid confrontation and drama. But instead, address the issues at an early-stage when the problems are young. Work together as a team, try to find resolution, and come to terms with the fact that no one is perfect. Just remember to be willing to improve your relationship on your end, and hope to God that your partner is willing to do the same. This is something that has to happen throughout your journey with your partner if you want your relationship to last, and even more so, if you’re hoping to take things to the next level.

Couples always endure rough patches, hard times, and even arguments that seem overbearing. What’s important though, is that we need to learn from those issues and problems, and grow from them into more enlightened individuals, better people, and as a couple that can truly handle crisis, conflict, and turbulence – Despite the fact that you don’t want to have any of that in your life. Get the conflict out of your system while you’re young, work on yourself, and self-improve. 

Be willing to put all of you into any and every relationship that you explore. Do so to the point where you have no regrets, and where you know that you gave each and every situation you’re all. Ultimately, and one day, when you find that special someone (that is, if you haven’t yet), and you’re ready to share your life with them, you’ll be prepared, as well as emotionally and psychologically ready to do whatever it takes to make it work. 

Anne Cohen
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