Quality over Quantity in Friendships


It’s important to have people in your life that want the best for you, bring out the best in you, and that truly love you. We should only surround ourselves with healthy, kind, and enlightened individuals that truly want us to succeed in life, and in every possible way. Just as well, we should all avoid toxic people whenever we can, and that goes for toxic friendships and relationships. When it comes to choosing who you surround yourself with, you need to be cautious until you truly get to know who a person is on the inside. This can be a lot harder for people that move around a lot.

To know a little bit about me, I’ve moved around quite a bit, being that my family kept moving throughout my childhood. I’ve gone to 16 or 17 schools total, and and I’ve definitely gotten a chance to see a good portion of the United States, because of it. So it’s not necessarily a bad thing that I moved around a lot. But instead, I view it as quite a good thing for many reasons. First off, I got to meet people from all over the world. People of different ethnicities, races, backgrounds, and in all different types of cities that are filled with such a variety of people.

For anyone that knows me, and I mean truly knows me, knows that I love people. Actually, let’s be brutally honest a minute here, I love kind hearted and good people. I can’t stand cruel and cold hearted people. So yes, I’ve definitely become a bit worldly and have gotten a chance to see a good portion of the United States most definitely. The reason that I moved around so much was because my stepfather was a Rabbi, and he accepted different contracts that were short-term, as well some for some other different reasons.

Either way, the result was that we moved around quite a bit. Being that I moved around so much, I’ve made so many different types of friends. Of course, being the new girl all of the time, I definitely got my share of being bullied. I can’t say that I enjoyed that very much. But other than being bullied here and there at different schools and what not, I also got a chance to meet some amazing friends that might’ve been few, but as we all know, few is better, as long as they’re good friends. Less is definitely always more when it comes to quality. At least, this is my belief.

Now that you know little bit about me, I wanted to share my two cents on a few things. When it comes to having good friends, certain things are mandatory. We’re not talking about good looks, financial status, or how popular someone might be. But I’m more so talking about some essential qualities that a good friend must hold.

Good friends should want you to succeed in life. They should want to see you happy, thrive, and be the best version of yourself that you can be. Good friends should always have your best interest at heart, and want what’s best for you. They might not always agree with the choices that you make in life, but they should still stand by your side and support you, as long as it’s not something that’s going to hurt you now or in the long run. Sometimes it can be tricky to be supportive of a good friend when we don’t agree with the things that they’re doing. To have a good friend, you don’t have to agree on everything. However, you should definitely be open to listening to one another, and you should always value their feelings and opinions.

What’s unfortunate is that sometimes we need to let friends go their separate ways when we find that being friends with them brings us unhappiness or if we discover that they were toxic all along. Sometimes we need to do a little soul-searching and self discovery before we realize that someone isn’t adding to our life, but instead, they’re taking away from it, and from our happiness. It’s truly unfortunate, but many times we have to end good friendships and it can be painful for one or both of the people.

I’ve definitely had my share of ending friendships throughout my life, and I can honestly say that I did what was needed to be done, but that doesn’t mean that it was easy. I can definitely think of two or three times throughout my life where I had to end a friendship, despite the fact that I loved those people dearly. When I felt that a friend was putting me down, was acting one-sided, or was making choices and doing things that I felt were hurting them, others, or myself, I realized that I could no longer surround myself with their company or stay friends with them.

Having stable friendships is very important in life, and it’s those that have been brought up in a stable environment throughout their childhood that more so than not tend to have friendships that remain from their childhood and last. Having said that, for all others that had to move around a lot like myself, it can be harder to maintain stable friendships, because they weren’t routed from childhood, and they’re newer so to speak.

Anytime you make a new friend, you have to take time and get to know who they really are as a person, on the inside, and to see if they’re a good fit for you to have in your life or even if they’re possibly a toxic person. Whether someone is toxic or not can actually take a certain amount of time to tell. Many times people’s true colours come out down the line, if they weren’t authentic or genuine from the beginning. This is why it’s always good to be genuine and to be yourself from the get-go, as opposed to wasting your time or others when making friends, or within any other type of relationship.

Remember, it’s important to have good friends in life. But, it’s better to have good quality friends, as opposed to surrounding yourself with bad people, toxic people, or anyone else that will bring out the worst in you or bring you down in life. Love yourself enough to surround yourself with like-minded, loving, and warm hearted individuals. Be a good friend to yourself by picking and choosing good friends to surround yourself with.

Anne Cohen
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