When They Say That It’s About the Person, Not the Place – They’re Right


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I can’t speak for everyone, but I can honestly tell you truthfully and wholeheartedly, that when you find the right person, certain things happen. For one, things will naturally tend to flow, and you won’t usually have to force anything, including the amount of chemistry, attraction, how compatible you are, and just how well you get along. You’ll also tend to be on the same page, go at the same pace, have a similar timeframe for what you want in life, and feel as if it’s pretty easy to compromise, as well as work through your differences. And of course, there are many other things that you’ll feel and that will happen when you’re with the right person. In this article, I wanted to talk about one specific thing that one will usually feel when they’re with the right person.

I thought I heard someone shout out the word, “Happy!” O.K., maybe not. But yes, when you’re with the right person, you’ll feel happy. You’ll feel happy, enthusiastic, full of life and positive energy, and you’ll feel more inspired, more motivated, and more driven. But you’ll also feel one thing that many people say, but don’t always mean—that is, unless the feeling is there, and you’re with the right person—and that’s the mere fact that it’s about the person, not the place when you go out.


When I write about the importance of knowing what you want in a match and in a partner, as well as how important it is to have pure intentions and to follow through with those pure intentions, as opposed to changing your intent or the plan somewhere along the way, it’s also important to be with someone who’s easy going about where you go, and who’s focused more on seeing if you’re the right match for one another than anything else. You should be with someone who wants to be with you, who cares about getting to know you on a deeper level, and who actually cares more about who they’re with, than everything else in the environment and surroundings.

It’s always good to care about the little details in life, but to also make sure that you don’t make those small details a big deal if they’re not just as you’d like them. Pick and choose your battles, and when and if you have the opportunity to be easy going, selfless, and open to trying new things, do so and be that way. Be open, be selfless, be giving, and take it easy and relax, and especially during early dating. Take a deep breath, and try to remember what matters most in life—happiness, kindness, and love.


Anxiety, nerves, and being too picky early on could likely scare someone off and send them the wrong message that you’re possibly a tougher cookie than than you are. And especially, if you’re the type who might go out of your way to make sure that you don’t make any mistakes, striving a little harder than maybe you should towards perfection during early dating. Things don’t have to be perfect, not in life, not in relationships, and for goodness sake, not when it comes to dating and how you act. It’s better to be easy going and agreeable as far as where you go. And especially, if one person makes a couple of suggestions, while you’re asked for nothing more than your thoughts or an opinion on the suggested destination.

Remember, it’s not about the places you go, the activities you do, the destinations you travel to, or anything else other than the person you’re doing them with, and the feelings that you share with one another. It’s better to be with someone who will plan a nice walk on the beach, and perhaps carry a basket full of simple goodies like wine, cheese, crackers, and a pretty flower. But who will also sport a smile, and be full of life, love, and positive energy, rather than be sitting across from someone who cares more about what’s going on around them in the room, avoiding or simply not desiring to make any eye contact, and who complains and isn’t satisfied about anything at a 5 star, fine dining restaurant in Beverly Hills and the like.


Obviously, these are merely made up examples. But hopefully, you get my drift. And hey, if you and another person are the types that enjoy a little wining and dining, and can still put more focus and importance on getting to know the other person, the more power to you. Go for it, as long as the wining and dining isn’t like whining and dining, by all means, go to the places that you love and enjoy your life to the fullest extent.

It’s better to be with someone who’s simple as far as energy goes. The more authentic, simple, take it easy, normal, and lighthearted someone usually is, the more fun you’ll have, the more relaxed and comfortable you’ll feel, and the easier it will be to see if you’re the best possible match. And last but not least, remember that it takes two to tango, and you should do your part by being an easy going, selfless, loving person who also cares more about the company, than the place.


Anne Cohen
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