For Those Who Are Set in Their Ways and Afraid of Change



It’s important to care about who we are as a person and about how we live our lives. We should all have certain morals, and core values and beliefs that are our own. And despite what we might’ve been raised with, what we were taught to believe is right, and what was instilled in our minds and in our hearts at a very young age by our parents or guardians, we should know what’s right from wrong by merely listening to our gut instinct, rather than jumping on a bandwagon or trying to fit in with the crowd so that we don’t stand out or cause much controversy or turbulence.

When it comes to being a good person, this is something that we all need to work on every single day from the moment that we rise in the morning, until the moment that we go to bed at night. And working on yourself, striving towards being a better version of yourself each and every day, and trying to improve on the issues that we each have as individuals, we will improve, and we will better ourselves if we put in the right amount of love, effort, and openness towards becoming better
We need to have an open mind towards learning new things, and towards seeing things from another person’s perspective at times, rather than feeling as if we know everything, are set in our ways, and are perhaps, too old to learn new things or change what has become routine or somewhat of a typical stubborn mentality.

The only way that we can grow and improve ourselves, is to have an open mind and an open heart towards changing for the better. Therefore, it’s imperative that we not only have the will to improve ourselves, but that we become open to constructive criticism, and to the opinions and views of other people, and despite believing what we do, feeling how we feel, and knowing what we know. We truly need to open our minds and start seeing things outside of the box, and even if we end up coming back to our initial beliefs and to the things that we were raised with believing is right.

Don’t be afraid of changing your opinions because it’s uncomfortable. Change is bound to happen in life whether we want it or not. But the only way to grow as a human being, and on nearly every level, is to be open and willing to change or alter what we think is right when we see that many feel differently. We should do what is in our hearts, what our instinct tells us is right, and what we know from experience, logic, and from research and asking opinions of others.

If people don’t care about the opinions of others, they wouldn’t grow, learn, or experience life to the fullest. And sometimes, we need to learn from our mistakes and grow from the consequences of our choices and actions. But don’t be afraid of falling down or exploring other views and ways of thinking and doing things. True growth in life happens in many ways. One of them is by being doing what we were taught is right, and the other is by opening our minds up and trying things out for ourselves—trial and error. 

Being open to learning about other people’s views and perspectives, is what will truly make us knowledgeable and wise. Without judging people, being insensitive, stubborn, overly critical, and assuming that, what you know and what you feel is always right, be open-minded, open-hearted, and be willing to learn the other side of the story, other angles, and other feelings and thoughts that come from seeing things from another’s point of view, from the way that someone else was raised, and from the way that others were instilled with their belief system. Be open to change, and be open to finding out what your true core beliefs are, despite what was forced down your throat as a young kid.

And don’t get me wrong, because I believe in keeping traditions and having certain beautiful pieces of love, and ways of doing things that I’ve learned as a child growing up, stay as part of my life. But just because I want to keep certain traditions going in my life, whether in religion, culture, or simple ways of viewing things in the world, it doesn’t mean that I should be closed-minded towards the views, opinions, and ways of others.

Last but not least, just know that the worst thing that you can do which will likely stunt your growth, as a result, is to be stubborn and set in your ways, to the point where you close your mind and completely refuse to open the door to new information. Whoever is out there, saying that they’re too old to change, etc., is completely wrong. No one is ever too old to change, improve themselves, try something new, or have a different approach. Hear people out, and keep an open mind. Don’t be stubborn. Be open to change.


Anne Cohen
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4 thoughts on “For Those Who Are Set in Their Ways and Afraid of Change

  1. set in your ways is a timeless idiom we would do well to study more deeply

    how can we help our ‘aging society’ distinguish simple preferences and ways of doing things from well formed and principled values and beliefs that dictate behaviors, this is ‘great stuff’ and the formation of a discussion that would do well in a introductory philosophy or psychology high school class

  2. Being stubborn is something I have to constantly work against! I was raised by very disciplined parents, and so the idea of anyone telling me what to do now that I’m an adult irks the heck out of me. Since I’ve been married though, I realize that I’ll sometimes hold on to something because if I don’t, my husband will “win”. This is totally not how I want to live!

  3. I’m so loving this article Anne! I rarely comment but you’re writing is truly helpful to me, thank you. I was recently thinking about this because it seems like I keep dating the same types of people who are just stubborn and won’t change or even consider my way of thinking. Idk, just seems like so many people are set in their ways, but maybe it’s becuase I tend to date guys who are older than me.

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