When Someone’s in and out, Back and Forth, and Can’t Make up Their Mind About You


There are many people in this world who are indecisive about different things. Some people, more than others. But some people are so incredibly indecisive, that it affects their lives in a bad way. And being so indecisive tends to create issues for themselves, as well as affect those around them, especially those who they’re closest with. When it comes to dating and exploring a relationship with someone, having enough stability is important. You should have goals, and you should know what you want out of life. But if you’re hoping to have a partner in life, explore a relationship, and one day perhaps even get married, then you should know what you want in a partner, or at least have some idea of what you’re looking for. But it’s also crucial to be decisive about what you’re doing, big decisions that you make, and to be stable and happy with whatever it is that you decide. And this includes the person that you’re dating, the partner that you choose, and your relationship.

Dating someone who’s wishy-washy is never a good thing, and it can make the other person feel nearly miserable at times, if not most of the time. When someone doesn’t know what they want or can’t make up their mind and often acts indecisive, they’ll never be happy and neither will the other person. You have to be decisive about what you want in life, and you should be stable after making a decision, and stick to it. Don’t settle for being in the type of situation where someone changes their mind all of the time or even worse, breaks up with you every other day or week. Break up, make up, repeat? No thanks! Don’t put up with that nonsense. This doesn’t mean that every date that you go on or every relationship that you explore has to be a permanent thing, where you know that this is the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with.

The point of dating is to get to know someone and to see if you click. You should try to have a connection on as many levels as possible. And you should take time in doing so, to see if you want to explore more with them. You should feel the desire to learn more about them on a deeper level, and to the point where you can make a wise decision as to whether or not you’re a good match for one another. Once you know someone on a deeper level, and once you’ve taken enough time getting to know them, asking enough of the right types of questions to see what they want out of life, how they react to different situations, and what type of person they are at their core, and all around, as well as how well you get along, you should be able to figure out within a certain timeframe as to whether or not you want to keep pursuing the person and the situation, and whether or not it’s the right choice to take things to the next level.

But what you shouldn’t do is act wishy-washy with what you want or with your feelings in regards to the other person. You need to be stable so that you’ll be happy, and so that it won’t bring unhappiness to the other person as well. Being unstable or indecisive too much can create turbulence for couples. And it’s even worse when couples have taken the time to get to know one another on a deeper level and have become close enough to know one another full on heart and soul, and then act wishy-washy, indecisive, and unsure about what they want with the other person or how they feel about them. You should never play with someone’s emotions, string them along, or back out on big decisions after you’ve been reeling them in for a long period.

If you see red flags early on when dating someone, you should address them, nip things in the bud, and see if you can fix certain issues early on, rather than lead someone on—when you know that things will never work out or that ultimately you can’t be with the person. You should never waste someone’s time or coequal your own. And if you love someone enough, but you know that you can’t be with them in the long run, then you should cut the losses short, and end things, before you or they get even more attached, because things will be harder to end and much more painful down the line.

I can’t think of anyone who enjoys being in an unstable situation, and definitely not when it’s for a long period. Being in a situation where someone can’t make up their mind about being with you can truly take a toll on your soul and even on your health if you stay in a toxic situation as such for too long. It can be draining to your mind, your energy, your drive, and your enthusiasm. And it might even make you feel unloved by the way that they talk or act towards you. It’s imperative to be in a situation that’s stable, and with a person who knows what they want in life and with you. Don’t settle for someone who’s back and forth with their feelings towards you, or who has had plenty of getting to know you time, but still can’t figure out what they want. Be the decisive one, and know your worth enough that you won’t settle for less than what you want and deserve in life. And we all deserve to feel loved, appreciated, and to have a stable partner with stable feelings for us.

Anne Cohen
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