Why You Should Stop Googling People Before First Dates


Many people have wondered why some people will say things that they don’t mean, simply to provoke a certain type of response from someone. For some people, when they say yes, it means no, and saying no will mean yes. Why on earth would anyone say something, when there’s no substance or true meaning behind their words? Well, many times people want others to just “get them” and know what they want, assuming that they’ll be able to read their minds or something of the sort.

Unless you’re some type of “debatable” psychic, no one can read your mind. It’s important to say what you mean, and mean what you say. Our words are very powerful, and when we say anything, we should mean it. It’s imperative to be genuine and direct when dating or in a relationship, and to never assume that people will be able to read our minds. It can be truly misleading to many people when a person plays mind games like saying the opposite thing than what they really want or mean.

The power of NOT Googling

No one should have to dig to discover who someone really is by doing research. So many people have become weary of those that merely ask for someone’s last name when having hopes to date and get to know them better. Folks, asking someone’s last name is a normal and important thing to do. If you’re going on a first date, and especially when you meet someone through online dating or social media, it’s essential to know a person’s full name. The reason that many people have nearly become paranoid in giving their last names is because many people feel the desire to “Google” them before dating.

Whether you’re dating someone that you met online or anywhere else for that matter, “Googling” someone shouldn’t be “a thing.” You shouldn’t have to Google someone before meeting. Doing research about someone before meeting them in person is usually a big sign that someone is untrusting, nosey, obsessive, afraid, impatient, or even crazy. If you want to know a person more before accepting a first date, choose to have a more in depth conversation on the telephone.

There’s no need to stalk or research someone through social media, Google, or other search engines in order to find out whatever you can about a person. It’s a much better idea to get to know who a person is by asking questions, communicating, and getting to know them first hand, as opposed to what you’ll possibly discover about them online. If you don’t trust someone that much, and you feel the need to do research on them, don’t date them, or at least, not yet. Talk to them, email them, text them, send pictures back and forth, communicate your concerns, and the person will likely be understanding and respect you more for going straight to the source, as opposed to going behind their back and looking them up.

Even if someone is more than okay with you doing research on them, you should have enough patience, self control, and willpower not to. What you may find out by researching someone may not be completely or even partially accurate, and it will likely feel incredibly invasive to the person you’re about to date. Getting to know someone takes time, patience, and great communication. When you find things out about someone online, it can cause unnecessary conflict, turbulence, discomfort, and distrust for one or both of the people, and as we all know, it’s truly better to avoid that kind of drama whenever possible.

Anne Cohen
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