If He Wants to Leave, Let Him!


There comes a point in some relationships, where no matter how hard you try, and no matter how much effort and love you put into things, the other person wants to leave. You should never be with someone that’s not crazy in love with you. You shouldn’t stay with someone because you’re used to them, because they’re used to you, for financial reasons, for security, so that you won’t be lonely, or for any other reason, unless you’re in love with one another. You should never be with someone that loves you, but that you don’t love, and vice versa, you shouldn’t be with someone that you love, when they don’t love you the same.

Love should be the foundation of every relationship. So if the love isn’t there, you’re just wasting your time. But let’s assume that the love is there, and you’ve been trying really hard to improve your relationship and bring about more happiness in your life. And no matter what you do, you simply feel like nothing seems to be good enough for your partner. He or she simply isn’t happy in the relationship.

When you feel that your partner isn’t happy, the first thing that you should do is ask them if your feeling is accurate, and if so, why, and see if they’ll be open to communicating their feelings with you. But if they start to act distant, wishy-washy, or tell you that nothing’s wrong, when you clearly know that something is up, then there’s only so much that you can do.

Relationships are supposed to be used as a tool before taking the next step toward something like marriage. And when someone isn’t willing to communicate their feelings with you, it can be truly frustrating, you won’t feel happy, and your relationship likely won’t thrive, because of it. I truly feel that it’s best to be your partner’s best friend, and someone that you can mutually run to when in need. But when you or your partner can’t tell one another how you’re really feeling, even if you feel that the love is fading or gone, then you really don’t have much to hang onto.

It’s important that both people in a relationship work hard towards improving things. But at the end of the day, if you’re doing all that you can to make things work, and your partner still wants to head for the door, you should let them. You should let anyone leave your life that wants to. You should never hold onto someone that doesn’t want to be held. And when someone doesn’t know your worth, doesn’t value you, and doesn’t  appreciate you and all of your wonderful qualities, you really shouldn’t feel all that down about it when they want to leave.

You see, we really need to value and love ourselves enough not to be with someone that doesn’t love us or want to be with us. And there’s no need to grovel or beg someone to stay with us, because of how we feel about them. Love should go both ways in every healthy relationship. And if anything, the longer that you’re with someone, the stronger that your love and your relationship should be with one another. And yes, love and feelings do change over time, but when you’re with the right match, that love will change into something even more beautiful, and even stronger than it started out.

You should be able to communicate with your partner, and if you’re not able to communicate your feelings, or if they’re not willing to communicate theirs, then there’s really little to no hope for the relationship to continue. A healthy relationship should bring about more happiness into your life, not less. And of course, happiness is something that we feel in one moment, and it could change in the next. But in a healthy relationship, you should feel stable, secure, and predominately happy for the most part. As well, when you’re with your best possible match, things should generally flow for the most part, and you should be able to communicate with one another as if you are best friends, and not merely lovers.

Having said all of the above, if you’re in a relationship where you truly love the other person, and whether they claim to love you or not, they desire to leave, and end things with you, you should let them. There’s never anything wrong with asking the person why they want to leave, but just know that your best possible match would never leave your side, never break up with you, and never risk losing you to someone else. When we know our worth, and when we love and value our self enough, we won’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with us.

Anne Cohen
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