The Worst Method for Getting over a Breakup


Being in touch with your emotions is a beautiful trait. I’ve gotten to the point of my life where I feel that anyone who can’t feel, embrace, and truly be in touch with their feelings is completely crazy. Well, maybe not crazy, but they’re missing out big time. I can’t really relate to those that avoid healthy communication, drama, and confrontation.

Talking things through and hashing out issues when they arise is a big part of being able to be in a relationship with someone. Everyone disagrees and argues at times, but what’s important is to be able to communicate with your partner.
What’s the point of being in a relationship if you’re going to hide how you really feel.

Nothing is more beautiful than when someone has the ability to connect with their emotions, your emotions, and even more so, when they’re passionate in the way that they express themselves. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, and maybe it’s because I’m what one would call the sensitive type, but for whatever reason, I feel things on a very deep level. I’m passionate about what I like, what I don’t like, but I also feel sensitive when expressing myself.

If you’re the sensitive type like me, then you should know that you still need to express yourself, be true to who you are, and be able to communicate your feelings to your partner – but fearless of their reaction.
You should never be afraid to speak your mind, be direct, and tell it how it is so to speak. But there’s also a kind and delicate manner that you’re able to communicate, and without having to feel that you’re walking on eggshells.

You can’t be in a relationship when you’re not being your authentic self. As well, lying to yourself to the point where you even feel you’re getting out of touch with your true emotions is possibly the worst thing that you can do for your relationship, and your own well-being. Hiding your true feelings will take you down a very narrow path. If you think that lying to yourself so that you won’t feel anything for someone any longer is a great idea, you’re basically sweeping your feelings and your true emotions under the rug. That’s just a way of temporarily putting a Band-Aid on the problem, assuming or hoping perhaps that eventually your issues or feelings will go away.

It’s important to address issues by nipping things in the bud at an early stage, rather than postponing communicating how you really feel. If you’ve gone through a recent break up, and you feel the need to lie to yourself so that you’ll get over someone, I’d highly recommend not doing so. The damage that it can cause to build an emotional wall as such will be detrimental to anyone that you’ll date in your future, and you’ll likely lose touch of connecting with your own emotions on a deep level. As well, you’ll never be able to truly fall in love again if you don’t go through the natural healing process of a break up.

I was watching an interview the other day of one of my favourite actors, authors, and playwrights, Jesse Eisenberg. Now keep in mind that you never really know when an actor is being brutally honest during an interview, because there’s always a high chance that they’re not. I have to say that he reminds me a lot of Woody Allen, and not because he’s acted in his films before, but because of his neurotic tendencies and perhaps even from seeing his fast-paced, quick-witted, and beyond intellectual way of speaking.

During the interview Conan O’Brian and Jesse Eisenberg were discussing something that Jesse wrote in his book, “Smiling tricks your brain into thinking it’s happy.” Jesse said that the statement was actually false, and he explained how he thinks that people that smile all of the time or even those that try to convince themselves that they’re happy when they’re not are deranged. I think that there’s a lot of truth to that.

I can truly relate on some level as to why someone would think that someone that smiles too much it’s crazy. I’d have to say that smiling until you actually feel happy doesn’t always work, despite what I’ve written in many of my inspirational posts. I think to some extent we can make ourselves believe that we’re happy, even when we’re not. But simply smiling for no reason isn’t embracing our true emotions and how we’re really feeling deep down inside.

You should never have to lie to yourself in order to feel happier by avoiding what’s really going on in your life, or when something really bothers you on a deep level. You should always embrace your true and genuine emotions, without holding back. There are ways of expressing yourself and dealing with your feelings without lacking that beautiful attribute of being authentic.

Remember, being authentic is one of the most beautiful qualities that most people look for in a partner, and if you lose sense of who you are and how you’re really feeling inside because you’re not willing to deal with any pain, loss, or grief from your past, you’re not going to be whole and completely authentic. 

Anne Cohen
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