When You’re in a LTR or married, and She Starts Letting Herself Go


Sometimes, when we’ve been with a person for a long time, whether in a relationship, or married, we tend to slack off when it comes to looking our best at all times. I wrote this article to express the importance of maintaining your outer beauty, being that it’s an important part of attraction when you have a long term commitment. The longer that couples are together, the more that they get used to each other. Looking beautiful on the outside, can be just as important as feeling beautiful on the inside. You should note that I said “feeling” beautiful on the inside, as opposed to being beautiful on the inside. The reason that you should feel beautiful on the inside, is because once you feel beautiful enough on the inside, deep within your soul, and your self-esteem is healthy and strong, then you can dress it up, and take better care of yourself on the outside.

It’s important to look good for yourself and for your partner. Even in Judaism, they say that a woman should dress in a way that’s appealing to her man. I’m not sure if that’s written anywhere, but I sure liked hearing it, and it kind of stuck with me when someone told me that. I agree, it’s good to be appealing for your partner, because you want your partner to not only love you for you, on the inside, but to love you, and be attracted to you physically as well. You don’t have to be a gorgeous supermodel, or a studly man that’s on the cover of GQ to look good, and appealing to your partner. However, you should put some effort into making yourself look beautiful, and attractive, despite if you think of yourself as a 1 or a 10 on the attractiveness scale.

It doesn’t really matter what other people think when it comes to your beauty. What matters is how you feel about yourself, and how your partner feels about you as well. It goes without saying that the most important thing is the beauty within your soul. But, I wrote this article to express the importance of taking care of yourself on the outside as well. When it comes to women, you should dress in a fashionable way, where you’re not always walking around in sweatpants all of the time. It’s funny, but many couples can probably relate to the fact that their girlfriend or wife is walking around in sweatpants or comfy clothes more than she should, and they’re wishing that she would just toss those sweatpants out! When she first put those same sweatpants on, it was probably more appealing to her man, because she always dressed up during early dating, and rarely ever dressed down, or comfy. It seems that now, that’s all she wears is those darn sweatpants!

When it comes to men, most men like variety, and despite the fact that they love you for you, they want a wife that will be exciting, and just for them. A good man will likely tell you that it doesn’t matter what you wear, because he loves you for you, and you’re beautiful to him even if you were wearing a potato sack. Well, that’s a very sweet thing to say, but in fact, that very same man that speaks so lovingly to his woman, still wants, appreciates, and prefers to have variety, and a little spice when it comes to his woman. I think that less men would cheat on their wives, and vice versa, if couples kept things interesting between each other. My main point is that you shouldn’t stop taking care of yourself, because you’ve been with a person for a long time. You should make an extra effort to always look good for yourself, and for your partner.

You should care about how you appear in public, and in front of your partner, or spouse, despite the duration of your time together. If anything, the longer that you’re together in a relationship, and definitely the longer that you’re married, the more that you should concentrate on keeping things exciting, taking good care of yourself, and dressing appealing for your spouse. I’m not saying that you should never walk around in comfortable clothes or anything. I’m simply saying that you should not dress down all of the time, and you should dress up even more, the longer that you’re together. When I say to dress up more, I’m referring to dressing in a way that’s appealing, presentable, and as if you put a little bit of effort into it the way that you look.

When it comes to women wearing makeup, and men putting gel in their hair, and things of the sort, etc., those things aren’t mandatory in taking good care of yourself, or a necessity in looking your best. However, many times it’s the details, and how you take care of yourself that can enhance your natural beauty. You don’t necessarily need to put on pounds of makeup to be more beautiful, and more appealing to your partner. There’s something very beautiful about being natural, and putting on just enough makeup to enhance your natural beauty, and using just enough gel in your hair, and whatnot to become more appealing to your partner.

In the same manner that a woman should dress and look in a way that’s pleasing to her man, I also feel that a man should do the same for his woman. I haven’t heard this yet in Judaism, even though I’ve heard it in the reverse for women. Having said that, I still have a lot to learn in Judaism. I believe that it should go both ways, and a couple should try to be very appealing towards each other. They should take good care of themselves, and care about how they look on the outside, as well as having a healthy relationship, and being good on the inside. Having good looks is like having frosting on a cake. Like I’ve always said, the cake is essential, and having that solid foundation is imperative in a healthy relationship, and marriage. But, the frosting is always nice, and can definitely help keep the fire alive in a long-term commitment.

Anne Cohen
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